Category Archives: Recent Reviews

Knight of Cups (2016)

“My life is like a Call of Duty campaign on easy. I just go around and fuck shit up.” Yes. That’s a real quote.

Terrence Malick’s newest film continues the downward trend started by 2012’s To The Wonder. The film follows Christian Bale playing a character that may or may not have been given a name. In fact, I can’t name a single character in the movie despite having just seen it as none are memorable or remotely developed. Bale appears to be a successful Hollywood screenwriter that gets sucked into the excesses of Tinseltown while dealing with some inner turmoil. What exactly is that turmoil? It seems to have to do with the loss of a younger brother and conflict with an authoritative father. If that sounds familiar, it is. This was the main thrust behind the significantly superior The Tree of Life (one of my favorite films) and there are glimpses, however brief, of the emotional intimacy found in that work. Unfortunately, these instances are too few and infrequent to carry the film.

Knight of Cups does break into new territory with its subject matter though. Malick’s films are always told using a childlike sense of wonder and imagination with many of the main characters being children. This style continues but is now applied to adult emotions, namely lust and hedonism, as well as seedier environments. Bale’s character moves through strip clubs, exorbitantly wealthy parties, and numerous partners in his descent and while this provides an intriguing contrast, it is never fully utilized. Any potential is squandered through the meandering of the narrative.

“See the palm trees? They tell you anything’s possible.” Also a real quote.

At its worst, Knight of Cups plays almost like self-parody. Every Malick trope is here. Vaguely spiritual whispered voice-overs? Scenes of frolicking on a beach? Majority of the film takes place at dusk with the sun behind the character’s head? Check, check, and check. All of these aspects have been successful at times in his previous movies, but the difference here is that there is no cohesion between the scenes. These films are becoming increasingly like grab bags of thoughts taken randomly from Terry’s bedside notebook and spoken by talented actors over beautiful imagery. Unfortunately, the stunning visuals and vague hints at depth are no longer enough to carry a film this unfocused. There are only so many scenes of a character reaching out of the window of a moving car to do hand jives while a pastor philosophizes that an audience can take.

2/5 stars.

The Witch (2016)

The Witch, or The V V itch as the opening title reads, starts with a family on trial in front of their fellow plantation workers. They are banished from their home for incorrectly preaching God’s word. Headstrong, the father moves his family away and starts farming to survive on their own. They seem to be successful until something goes wrong. The infant goes missing and the family is wrecked with grief when they are unable to explain their loss. They can’t reconcile their misfortune with their religious beliefs and the loss creates cracks in the foundation of their lives.

The strength and originality of the film comes from its focus on relationships and beliefs rather than the supernatural. Living in the 1600s in a puritan, extremely orthodox family, the characters have deeply held beliefs about God, Original Sin, and the Devil. To them, Witches are as real as droughts and famine so when bad things start happening, they look for someone, or something, to blame. The Witch uses this finger pointing to create an atmosphere of distrust. Much like the horror classic The Thing, the question isn’t “who’s going to die next?” but rather “who will they believe?”. This adds a moral complexity to the storyline that elevates it well above other similar movies.

4/5 Stars.

Pure Pwnage Teh Movie

When I first saw the trailer for Pure Pwnage Teh Movie, I was nervous. Having grown up with the web series and later watched the Canadian TV show I was worried not that the movie would be unfaithful to the spirit of the original works, but rather that the original show was now outdated.

For those unfamiliar with Pure Pwnage, it was a webseries launched in 2004 (pre-Youtube) about a “pro gamer” named Jeremy (Jarrett Cale) filmed in a documentary style by his brother and total noob Kyle (Geoff Lapaire). Most of the humor was tied to gaming culture at the time and some of it wasn’t what we would now consider politically correct. I was afraid that the movie continuation of the series I had fond affections for would appear crass and outdated, much like the 2011 release of Duke Nukem Forever. Thankfully, I was wrong.

The movie picks up a few years after the web series (the less well received TV series is now non-cannon) with Jeremy and his best friend FPS Doug (Joel Gardiner). I won’t spoil the details of their current situation, but suffice to say that the film manages to stay true to the characters while completely subverting your expectations of them. Jeremy and Doug decide to enter a tournament to win money and now have to learn League of Legends, the current hottest multiplayer game. To their dismay, LoL is a team sport meaning they have to learn to interact with other human beings which doesn’t come naturally to Jeremy. The film follows them as they form a team, train, and compete in the tournament.

The best part of the film is just how effortless it seems. The actors know the characters so well that they always feel believable, despite the silliness of their antics. As they progress, we get various callbacks to the webseries and, dare I say it, even character growth. BBC film critic Mark Kermode has a “6 laugh rule” for comedies. The idea is that if a comedy can make you laugh at least 6 times, it is worth your attention. While watching Pure Pwnage Teh Movie, I probably passed 6 laughs within the first 5 minutes. The film actually plays on the outdated nature of the original series and mines the differences between gaming in 2004 and gaming in 2015 for an endless supply of jokes. That being said, there are some major caveats. In order to fully enjoy the film you need to have seen the web series and be at least somewhat familiar with video games. But if you meet that criteria, you’ll spend the 90 minutes with a huge grin on your face and leave with a sudden desire to run with a knife or spank your monitor. GG guys, GG.

5/5 Stars.